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Men Are The Better Sex
Let's look at a few rather important topics to prove this:
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike,
Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Pecker and Schmucko.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they
want some change back. The girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1
for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothpaste,
toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from
the Holiday Inn.; The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 337.No man will be able to
identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.
THE FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A
man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware
of short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Every married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in
two people remembering the same thing, is there?
LISTENING
What a woman says: "C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need
to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do laundry now."
What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,
blah, blah blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW. |
