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Some Like It Hard, Some Like It Hard |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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Some like it hard, some like it soft. Some prefer up and down over side to side, but either way it ends up going in and out . . .
What, I'm brushing my teeth, you PERV . . . BrB |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-08 |
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Like Math |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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Sex is like math: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and just pray you don't multiply! |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-08 |
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Gad Made Me! |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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When God made girls He was proud of His creation. When God made boys He was slightly disappointed. When God made me He was just plain showing off! |
| submitted by: by:
julia |
| date:
2004-06-09 |
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Men Are A Deack Of Cards |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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Life with men is like a deck of cards.... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards. |
| submitted by: by:
julia |
| date:
2004-06-10 |
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Lighters And Matches |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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I'm playing with lighters and matches right next to a pile of oily rags and a bucket of gasoline. |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-13 |
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Professor |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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A professor was wrapping up class and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart-ass student asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter subsided, the prof glared at the student and said, "Not an excuse -- you can use your other hand to write". |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-15 |
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I Am So Good At It |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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I'm so good in bed, I scream my OWN name during sex! |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-15 |
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Britney Spears |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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Honk if you love Britney Spears... then drive your car into the nearest tree. |
| submitted by: by:
rbell356 |
| date:
2004-06-15 |
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10 Ways To Annoy Cops |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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10 Ways To Annoy Cops
1. Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!"
2. When he approaches you, stare at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit."
3. Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting.
4. Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
5. Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it.
6. Ask him if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.
7. Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but decided to graduate high school instead.
8. When he asks you to walk the line Riverdance instead.
9. Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th.
10. When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold me beer for a sec?" |
| submitted by: by:
RandomPerson2008 |
| date:
2004-06-15 |
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People Who Drink |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. |
| submitted by: by:
rbell356 |
| date:
2004-06-16 |
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Babysitter |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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I'm searching for the kids I'm supposed to be babysitting... |
| submitted by: by:
rbell356 |
| date:
2004-06-17 |
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To Be Is To Do |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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"To be is to do." - Aristotle
"To do is to be." - Nietzsche
"Do be do be do." - Sinatra |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-17 |
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Drugs |
| Use this Away Message |
| message: |
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Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system |
| submitted by: by:
achar310 |
| date:
2004-06-17 |
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